she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
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you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
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When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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