Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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