ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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