FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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