im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
this hospital has no fireball
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize