theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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