you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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