I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize