I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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