You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize