when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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