take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize