it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize