I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize