sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We had to coat check the pizza.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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