My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize