I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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