Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
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I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
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Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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