i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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