Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize