You made me cry and you don't even care
North Korea, Best Korea!
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize