Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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