I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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