It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better not be in your backpack
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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