Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize