I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
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He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
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Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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