I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
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The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
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Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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