That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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