i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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