Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize