my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize