Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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