I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
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