i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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