Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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