My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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