Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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