She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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