Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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