all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
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Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize