non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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