Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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