VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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