The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize