the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize