Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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