I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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