Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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