You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize