turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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